I want to start this conversation by asking you to reflect on your life—specifically, any of the big changes you’ve made. Think about the moments where you really showed up, where you kept pushing forward even in difficult circumstances, and where you actually saw a transformation happen. Now, consider whether those big changes were preceded by a period where you wanted that exact thing, but you weren’t fully committed.

Maybe you tried to lose weight for years, going to the gym, trying new diets, and restarting every time you slipped. Nothing seemed to work—until one day, something clicked, and you made it happen. Or perhaps you spent years trying to grow your business, putting in the work but not seeing results, until one day, you just knew you were going to make it work. You went all in, and suddenly, things started shifting.

If you’ve ever experienced this, or if you’re currently stuck in that phase where you want something but aren’t fully showing up for it, this is for you. Because the truth is, many of us believe that this moment—the moment where we “click into gear” and actually make a change—just happens to us. Like one day we’ll wake up and magically feel ready. But what if I told you that you could create that moment for yourself?

Deadlines Create Urgency

When we look at major milestones in life—getting into college, finishing a big work project, passing a test—there’s usually a deadline involved. That deadline forces us to prepare, to show up, and to either succeed or face the consequences. And because of that, we find a way to rise to the occasion.

But what about the goals that don’t come with a built-in deadline? The ones where no one is holding us accountable but ourselves? That’s where most of us struggle. We keep giving ourselves extensions: “I’ll start next month.” “I’ll take it seriously in six months.” And before we know it, years have passed.

This is exactly what I was discussing with a client recently. He had made incredible progress in his life but was still resisting a key goal. When I asked him, “What happens if you don’t reach this goal in six months?” he admitted he would probably just push it off another six months. That’s the problem.

Balancing Self-Compassion with Discipline

There’s an important balance between self-compassion and discipline. Yes, we need to be kind to ourselves, to know that we are enough, and to accept that progress takes time. But we also need urgency. We need to parent ourselves—to set boundaries, to hold ourselves accountable, and to push past our excuses.

The problem is, modern messaging often skews too far in one direction. We hear so much about self-love and self-acceptance (which are important!) that we sometimes forget that real self-love includes discipline. Just like a good parent sets rules for their child, we need to set rules for ourselves. Otherwise, we risk drifting through life without ever fully stepping into our potential.

The Illusion of Effortlessness

Social media exacerbates this issue. We see people achieving incredible success and making it look easy. We hear influencers say things like, “Yeah, it just happened! I showed up and things took off.” But what they don’t tell you is the relentless work that went on behind the scenes. The long hours, the failures, the sacrifices.

I recently listened to a podcast where a well-known influencer downplayed the effort behind her success—until the host pressed her for details. Then it became clear that she had been obsessively working, posting and deleting videos until they went viral, refusing to take no for an answer. But if you only heard her initial explanation, you might think success just “happens” for some people. It doesn’t.

Stop Waiting for the Click

If you’re waiting for that click—that moment where everything suddenly feels easy and natural—you’re wasting time. Those moments happen because we create them. They happen when we get so fed up with our current situation that we decide to finally take full responsibility.

Think about procrastination: we avoid tasks until the last minute because the fear of failing outweighs the pain of doing the work. But when the deadline is staring us in the face, the balance shifts. Suddenly, the pain of not taking action is worse than the pain of getting it done. That’s what we need to create for ourselves with our biggest goals.

How to Create Urgency

1. Set a Hard Deadline – Treat your goals like non-negotiable deadlines. Mark them on your calendar. Make them as real as a college application deadline or a major work project.
2. Attach Real Consequences – If you don’t reach your goal by your set date, what happens? If there are no stakes, it’s too easy to push it off.
3. Find an Accountability Partner – Get someone who will call you out if you start slacking. Someone who won’t just accept your excuses.
4. Stop Babying Yourself – You don’t need to be mean to yourself, but you do need to be firm. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Create the fire that drives you forward.
5. Remind Yourself Why It Matters – When you feel like giving up, come back to why you started. What’s at stake? How will your life change if you finally follow through?

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, the difference between people who achieve their goals and those who don’t isn’t luck. It’s not magic. It’s not because things “just happened” for them. It’s because they created urgency. They stopped waiting for the perfect moment and decided to make it happen.

So ask yourself: are you giving yourself unnecessary extensions? Are you postponing your dreams just because you can? If so, it’s time to shift gears. It’s time to take yourself seriously. Because you are the only person who can make it happen—and the only person standing in your way.

Let’s stop waiting. Let’s start doing.